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December 6, 2014

Stand By Your Man

by Colleen Rouse
Ephesians 5:15-16 NLTSo be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who arewise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.Ephesians 5:21 NLTAnd further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.Ephesians 5:22-24 NLTFor wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For ahusband is
Sermon Notes

Ephesians 5:15-16 NLT
So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are
wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.
Ephesians 5:21 NLT
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:22-24 NLT
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a
husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church.
He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to
Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:25-33 NLT
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the
church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean,
washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to
himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other
blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way,
husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For
a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one
hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for
the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say,
“A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the
two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an
illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say,
each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband.
The Picture of a Fulfilled Marriage:

  1. Submission/Sacrifice – the wife is to submit to her husband & he is
    to sacrifice himself for her
  2. Body/Head – the wife is the body & the husband is the head;
    together they form one flesh
  3. Respect/Love – the wife is commanded to respect her husband &
    he’s commanded to love her
    Proverbs 14:1 NLT
    A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down
    with her own hands.

Disrespect:

  1. Concentration – scrutiny for the sake of finding flaws
  2. Criticism – focuses on assassinating character
  3. Contempt – feelings of disgust; using sarcasm to shame
  4. Catastrophe – alienation and deterioration of the marriage

The Respect Test:

  1. How do you use your public platform – criticize or compliment him?
  2. How do you handle his imperfections – with disgust or empathy?
  3. How do you make decisions – disregard his views or defer to
    them?
  4. How much do you need him?

How Do You Get It Back?

  1. Recognize
  2. Repent
  3. Rebuild
    “We tend to think that love is unconditional, but respect is earned.
    Men need unconditional respect, respecting who they ARE.” –
    Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only
    “If a man feels disrespected, he is going to feel unloved. If you want
    to love your man in the way he needs to be loved, then you need to
    ensure that he feels your respect most of all.” – Shaunti Feldhahn,
    For Women Only

Building Blocks of Respect:

  1. Attention – considering what is positive and dwelling on it
  2. Appreciation – recognition for his contributions/sacrifices and your
    need for him
  3. Admiration – admiring his qualities/abilities/accomplishments
  4. Acclimation – adapting to his needs and desires; submitting to and
    honoring his covering
  5. Affection – demonstrating his value and how much you cherish him
    Philippians 2:1-2 NLT
    Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort
    from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts
    tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing
    wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working
    together with one mind and purpose.
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