Loving Through Offense
“In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be
Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in
heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. AND FORGIVE US OUR
DEBTS, AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS.”
Forgive as we forgive.
Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you. BUT IF YOU DO NOT FORGIVE MEN THEIR
TRESPASSES, NEITHER WILL YOUR FATHER FORGIVE YOUR
“There is no slightest suggestion that we are offered forgiveness on
any other terms. It is made perfectly clear that if we do not forgive, we
shall not be forgiven. There are no two ways about it.” — C.S. Lewis
- How we view ourselves vs. others
Matthew 18:21-35 NLT
Then Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive
someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,”
Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! Therefore, the Kingdom of
Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts
up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the
process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of
dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—
along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the
debt. But the man fell down before his master and begged him,
‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was
filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. But
when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him
a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded
instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged
for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he
pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. HE HAD THE MAN
ARRESTED AND PUT IN PRISON UNTIL THE DEBT COULD BE
PAID IN FULL. When some of the other servants saw this, they were
very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had
happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said,
‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you
pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant,
just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to
prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. THAT’S WHAT
MY HEAVENLY FATHER WILL DO TO YOU IF YOU REFUSE TO
FORGIVE YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS FROM YOUR
Forgiving Ourselves vs. Others:
Jesus earned it. They need to earn it.
Forgive me now. Forgive them later.
I’ve learned from it. Give it a few months or years.
That was not my intention. They knew what they were doing.
John 13:34 NLT
So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just
as I have loved you, you should love each other.
There’s no one on earth who is worth more than you, and there is no
one on earth who is worth less than you.
Philippians 3:13 NLT
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, BUT I FOCUS
ON THIS ONE THING: FORGETTING THE PAST AND LOOKING
FORWARD to what lies ahead.
Enemy: a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or
How Many of You Would Say …
• I have at least one enemy (a person) that I can name.
• My enemy is an opposing people group, political party, nation to
my native country, business competitor, moral views or ideals,
• I have no enemies, but I do have people who offend me from
time to time.
• I have no enemies, and I am not currently offended by anyone.
• There are some people I find it extremely difficult to love.
- How we view our offenders
Matthew 5:43-45 NKJV
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and
hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, BLESS
THOSE WHO CURSE YOU, DO GOOD TO THOSE WHO HATE
YOU, AND PRAY FOR THOSE WHO SPITEFULLY USE YOU AND
PERSECUTE YOU, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven;
for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends
rain on the just and on the unjust.”
“There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of
us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Romans 9:20-23 NASB
… The thing molded will not say to the molder, “Why did you make
me like this,” will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay,
to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and
another for common use? What if God, although willing to
demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with
much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? AND HE
DID SO TO MAKE KNOWN THE RICHES OF HIS GLORY UPON
VESSELS OF MERCY, which He prepared beforehand for glory.
Proverbs 15:1 NIV
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 Timothy 2:20 ESV
Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but
also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for
2 Timothy 2:21-22 NASB
… a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for
every good work. Now FLEE FROM YOUTHFUL LUSTS and pursue
righteousness, faith, love and peace …
“It’s about the love that God wants to show others through you,
despite what they did to you.”
The Process of Loving Through Offense:
- Pray for God to correct your point-of-view.
Matthew 7:3-5 NIV
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and
pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to
your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the
time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the
plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the
speck from your brother’s eye.”
- Pray for God’s point-of-view concerning the person.
- Process your emotions with God in prayer.
- Posture yourself with a Christ-like attitude.
- Communicate face-to-face or by phone (if applicable).
- Remain committed to extending forgiveness.
Three Things Happen as We Forgive:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate
cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” — Dr. Martin Luther
- As we forgive, we share God’s love.
1 John 4:8 NASB
The one who does not love does not know God, FOR GOD IS LOVE.
- As we forgive, we show God’s life.
Galatians 2:20 NKJV
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ
lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in
the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
2 Corinthians 4:10 NASB
… always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the
life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
- As we forgive, we shine God’s light.
2 Corinthians 4:6-10 NASB — Treasure in Jars of Clay
For God, who said, “LIGHT SHALL SHINE OUT OF DARKNESS,” is
the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the
knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. BUT WE HAVE
THIS TREASURE IN EARTHEN VESSELS, SO THAT THE
SURPASSING GREATNESS OF THE POWER WILL BE OF GOD
AND NOT FROM OURSELVES; we are afflicted in every way, but not
crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed; always CARRYING ABOUT in the
body the dying of Jesus, SO THAT THE LIFE OF JESUS ALSO MAY
BE MANIFESTED IN OUR BODY.
Matthew 5:16 NASB
“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your
good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”
John 1:1-5 NASB
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the
Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came
into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being.
In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in
the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
John 10-13 NASB
He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the
world did not know Him. He came to His own, and those who were
His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them
He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who
believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the
flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
John 14-17 NASB
And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His
glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and
truth. John testified about Him and cried out, saying, “This was He of
whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has a higher rank than I, for He
existed before me.’” For of His fullness we have all received, and
grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and
truth were realized through Jesus Christ.