Last year, I went to Sierra Leone on my very first missions trip. This year, I had the opportunity to go again, and the experience was very powerful for me. Last year, I went expecting a breakthrough because I was still in a rut (for lack of a better word) and still hurting from going through my divorce. Though I had a life changing experience last year, it wasn't the breakthrough that I was hoping for. I came back wanting to work on getting debt-free so that I could possibly do a long-term missions assignment in the future. So, I initially said no to coming on the trip this year.

Thank God I ended up going. I wasn't looking for anything out of the trip this year except to serve the people of Sierra Leone by showing them God's love. And that's when I had my breakthrough...when I took the focus off of getting something out of the trip and just [focused on] doing God';s work.

When I returned I fasted a couple of days in direct relation to the trip to Sierra Leone, and during the fast, God told me that I had to contact my ex-husband to tell him that I forgive him for what he did. I have in prayer and in my head forgiven my ex-husband, but I never felt free of unforgiveness and anger. God has shown me that I never forgave in my heart, and to do that, I would have to speak forgiveness directly to the person I needed to forgive. Of course I didn';t like hearing this and my pride was saying no, but I knew that if I wanted to be truly free of unforgiveness I would have to be obedient.

As soon as I was obedient and made an effort to contact my ex-husband, I felt the weight of unforgiveness lifted from me. Today, after three years, I finally spoke to him and spoke forgiveness. Immediately, I felt the freedom from the bonds of unforgiveness...I did a little happy dance in the aisle at work because I knew I was free. It has been three long years that I have struggled with the pain of divorce, but through missions God was able to restore to me what I had lost: hope, faith, peace, and joy.- Monique

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